Health Insurance Jokes

There were three medical specialists standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter said to the first, “And what have you done to be able to enter heaven?” “I’m a breast surgeon.” “Enter, you’ve done a wonderful job.” To the second he said “And what about you?” “I’m an oncologist” “Enter, you really hung in […]

Mr. Barricks was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. “Mr. Barricks, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting

Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care: Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” It roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked

A wealthy man lay critically ill. “There’s only one thing that will save you,” his doctor said. “A brain transplant. It’s experimental and very expensive.” “Money is no object,” the man said. “Can you get a brain?” “There are three available. The first was from a college professor, but it’ll cost you $10,000.” “Don’t worry,

I was hitting the ski slopes when a bizarre accident occurred. While fumbling my way off a chair lift, another chair hit me from behind and knocked me out cold. I woke up with a headache, in a hospital bed and immediately called my insurance company. After explaining what happened the insurance rep said, “We’re

The CEO of a large managed care corporation was sitting in his office late one night, gloating over his latest acquisitions. Suddenly, with a puff of smoke and the smell of brimstone, Satan appeared before him. Satan smiled at the CEO and said, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every health care

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.” 2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.” 1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.” 1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.” 1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” 1985 A.D. – “That pill is

An HMO Executive, a teacher and a banker were in a sailboat. Suddenly the boat hit a large rock which tore a hole in the bottom of the boat. To their horror they discovered that the life raft only had room for two passengers. A beautiful tropical island was visible on the horizon, but the

The Top 10 Signs You’ve Joined A Cheap HMO 10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.” 8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 7. Only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter. 6. Only item listed under Preventive

Question:  What is the difference between an HMO doctor and a seagull? Answer:  A seagull can still make a significant deposit on a Mercedes.