Health Insurance Jokes

Question:  What is the difference between an HMO and a battery? Answer:  A battery has a positive side.

Question:  Have you heard about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Managed Care Reviewers? Answer:  He threatened to release one every hour if his demands were NOT met.

Question:  What is the difference between HMO’s and terrorists? Answer:  You can bargain with terrorists.

Question:  Have you seen the new home surgery kit available by mail order? Answer:  It’s called Suture Self.

Question:  How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb in an HMO?  Answer:  Only one, but it needs a pre-authorization before it can be done.

An HMO accounts clerk had a cabin in the West Virginia mountains and liked to go there for his frequent vacation times. Each summer, he would invite a different friend to spend a week or two up at his cabin. One particular summer, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend agreed.