Insurance Agent Jokes

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back […]

James walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. “We don’t need anyone,” he was told. “You can’t afford not to hire me,” James said. “I can sell anyone, anytime, anything!” “Well, we have two prospects that NO ONE has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a

Life insurance agent to would-be client: “Don’t let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.”

Three Insurance salesman were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each companies service. The first one said, “When one of our insureds died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening.” The second one said, “When

Several cannibals were recently hired by a health insurance agency. “You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any of the other employees.” The cannibals promised.

“You ought to feel highly honored,” said the businessman to the life insurance agent, “so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents.” “Yes, I know,” replied the agent, “I’m them.”

An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade. “I can’t stop!” she shrilled. “What should I do?” “Brace yourself,” advised her husband, “and try to hit something cheap.”

An insurance agent won a trip to Mexico City. Now he is trying to win a trip back home.

A couple I know enjoys getting away from their high-stress jobs in the city by spending a few weekends out camping and relaxing in their motor home. However, they often found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers. So, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now

A traveler wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. The shop specialized in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read: Actuary’ Brains … $9/lb Loss Control Brains … $12/lb Underwriters’ Brains … $15/lb Claims Adjusters’ Brains … $33/lb Insurance Executives’ Brains … $87/lb Life