Insurance Jokes

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.” 2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.” 1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.” 1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.” 1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” 1985 A.D. – “That pill is […]

An HMO Executive, a teacher and a banker were in a sailboat. Suddenly the boat hit a large rock which tore a hole in the bottom of the boat. To their horror they discovered that the life raft only had room for two passengers. A beautiful tropical island was visible on the horizon, but the

The Top 10 Signs You’ve Joined A Cheap HMO 10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.” 8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 7. Only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter. 6. Only item listed under Preventive

Question:  What is the difference between an HMO doctor and a seagull? Answer:  A seagull can still make a significant deposit on a Mercedes.

Question:  What is the difference between an HMO and a battery? Answer:  A battery has a positive side.

Question:  Have you heard about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Managed Care Reviewers? Answer:  He threatened to release one every hour if his demands were NOT met.

Question:  What is the difference between HMO’s and terrorists? Answer:  You can bargain with terrorists.

Question:  Have you seen the new home surgery kit available by mail order? Answer:  It’s called Suture Self.

Question:  How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb in an HMO?  Answer:  Only one, but it needs a pre-authorization before it can be done.