Insurance Jokes

A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill. The doctor says to her, “I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live.” “Oh that’s terrible,” the woman sighs, “what am I going do?” The doctor replies, “Marry an insurance agent.” “Will I live longer?” asks the woman. ” […]

An insurance sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I´ll give each of you just one.” “Me first! Me first!”

Mr. John Johnson III, was a rich old man dying from a rare disease. On his deathbed, he called for his insurance agent, his doctor and his preacher: “I trusted each you my entire life. Now I want to give each of you $30,000 cash in an envelope to put in my grave. I want

A drunk wanders into the lounge of a hotel where an insurance convention is being held, intent on causing trouble. He yells, “I think all insurance agents are crooks, and if anyone doesn’t like it, come up and do something about it.” Immediately, a man runs up to the drunk and says, “You take that

A super genius goes in to see a doctor. “Doc,” the genius says, “I think I’m too smart. I’m having trouble even communicating with people because we have no common frame of reference, and it’s ruining my social life. Can anything be done?” The doctor runs a series of tests on the genius, and indeed

Confusius Say: Never argue with an idiot client. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

An insurance salesman, risk manager and a safety director are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. “I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn,” the innkeeper says. The safety director volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others

A state adopts strict new insurance self study Continuing Education requirements for its agents. The tests they now require are very difficult, can take no more than an hour to complete, and must be taken at a certified testing center. On the first day of the new requirements, an agent wanders into a testing center

Last night as I lay sleeping, I died or so it seemed, Then I went to heaven, but only in my dream. Up there St. Peter met me, standing at the pearly gates, He said “I must check your record, please stand here and wait.” He turned and said “Your record Is covered with terrible