Insurance humor, jokes and cartoons
Three men are sentenced to die by guillotine. The first man steps up, places his head in the hole, the executioner release the knife, and miraculously the knife stops inches above the man’s neck. The executioner says, “Under the laws of our country, if the guillotine fails to do its job, you are declared free.” […]
Three Men are Sentenced to Die by Guillotine Read More »
Several years ago, we had an underwriting trainee who was none too swift. One day, he was doing a certificate of insurance and turned to a co-worker and said, “I’m almost out of paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” she told him. With that, the trainee took his last remaining blank
I’m Almost Out of Paper Read More »
My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, “Look, I’m not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?”
Moving from Texas to Vermont Read More »
A doctor was walking on the beach and noticed an empty bottle. He kicked the bottle. A genie suddenly came out of the bottle and said “Gee thanks!! I’ve been locked in the bottle for five hundred years!! Just for that I’ll grant you three wishes. I have to warn you, however, that each of
Genie Granting Wishes and HMOs Will Get Double Read More »
A cowboy wanted to take out a life insurance policy. Talking to an insurance agent about his policy, the insurance agent asked the cowboy, “Have you ever had any accidents?” The cowboy repled, “No, no accidents.” Then, after a short pause he added “But a bronco kicked in a couple of my ribs, and a
A Cowboy Wanted to Take Out a Life Insurance Policy Read More »
“Do you know the present value of your husband’s policy?” the life insurance salesman asked his client. “What do you mean?” countered the woman. “If you should lose your husband, what would you get?” asked the salesman. The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, “Probably a poodle.”
Present Value of Husband’s Policy Read More »
The Pope, an HMO CEO and a student nurse are flying on an airplane. The captain comes back and says that he has some bad news and some really bad news. The bad news is that the plane is going to crash! As he puts on a parachute and jumps out he says that the
Airplane About to Crash and Only Two Parachutes Read More »
There were three medical specialists standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter said to the first, “And what have you done to be able to enter heaven?” “I’m a breast surgeon.” “Enter, you’ve done a wonderful job.” To the second he said “And what about you?” “I’m an oncologist” “Enter, you really hung in
Medical Specialists Standing at the Gates of Heaven Read More »
Mr. Barricks was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. “Mr. Barricks, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting
How Do You Intend to Pay for Your Stay Here? Read More »
You might be in the insurance industry if… 1. Â Â You have sat in the same desk for 4 years and worked for 3 different companies. 2. Â Â Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 3. Â Â When someone asks what you do for a living, you lie. 4. Â Â You get really excited about a 2%
You Might be in the Insurance Industry if… Read More »